........Love always, You at 42.

My mother recently send pictures from days past. Pictures of my younger self. Pictures of my sister. One in particular stuck out to me. Looking at my 8 year old self- I remember feeling insecure, unsure, scared, restless and always unsettled- for reasons unknown.

I feel like I should explain myself to her. I would tell her:

Dearest Azra,  

Your restlessness will never go away. Ever. It’s what drives you.  It’s what keeps you going. It’s what keeps striving forward.

You are stronger than you think. You have an incredible ability to move on. You’ll never be a damsel in destress.

You will always have a love hate relationship with your hair. Stop cutting it and using boxed color- trust me!

Don’t worry about what other people think about you- it’s okay for someone not to like you.

Learn to live more in the present. Sometimes your restlessness will cause you to miss some important moments.

It might take you longer to fulfill a life-long dream. You are going to take some long detours- but you will get there.

One day, you will enjoy moments of solitude. It’s how you re-center yourself. Enjoy your company.

Don’t be afraid. Speak up- let your voice be heard.

Love yourself. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Don’t be so ridged.

Learn to relax- it’s okay to let your guard down.

Happiness isn’t so far out of reach- it’s within you.

Love always,

You at 42.